The Little Red Hen - A modern take on a childhood favorite

September 2, 2010 Comments to the Oahu League of Republican Women by Mo Radke, candidate for Hawaii’s 48^th District State House or Representatives. www.moradke.com – mo@moradke.com- 808-386-3500

Aloooha!   

My name is Mo Radke. I’m the Republican candidate for Hawaii’s 48^th Representative District in Kaneohe.  I’ve served my country for 30-years as Navy Command Master Chief and then pursued and obtained my dream job as PGA golf professional and instructor.  I had a perfect life.  That is, until, I decided to run for office.

Carol said she’d give me a few minutes to introduce myself and talk about my platform but I realized that I would be preaching to the choir . . . Instead, I believe this case study explains why I’m here today.

<Pause>Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat.

She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"

 "Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

 "Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.

 The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

 "Not I," said the duck.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"Not my job classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

 "Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.

<Build Crescendo> At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

 "That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.

"If I'm only helper, that's goose discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will," sighed the little red hen. And she did.

She baked five loaves and placed them on her window sill to cool.  The neighbors saw the loaves and wanted some, in fact, they demanded a share.

But the little red hen said, "No, my family can eat these five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow.

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.

And the pig just grunted.

They marched around and around the little red hen with signs that said "unfair labor practices" and shouting obscenities.

 When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be greedy."

"But I earned this bread," said the little red hen.

"Good for you," said the agent. "That’s our wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as they want. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must share their wealth with the idle."

So after submitting to the governmental policy, the little red hen went back to scratching in the barnyard. But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked any more bread. <if applause, wait>

So that’s why I’m running for office.  To defend the spirit of the little red hen and to resurrect the society that rewards a strong work ethic, imagination and good ole American ingenuity.

I thank you for your time,

 (Derived from Russian folk tale and modern version by the Joke Emporium)